That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
