Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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