He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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