Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
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I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
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our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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