so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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