its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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