do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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