I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
