No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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