That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize