So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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