You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i out mim tonsoeep
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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