11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize