the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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