Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I smell stomach acid.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
