Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize