I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
