I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
