i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
