Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This house was built for laser tag.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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