YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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