Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
