they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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