I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
