I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
