Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
