I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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