So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Randomize
