She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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