I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
