She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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