Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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