True but thats because hes a fetus.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
