I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So much Jack, so little girl.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
