I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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