I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
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