Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
