my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
