if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
