in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
