Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
