I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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