Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
