no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
