he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
