You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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