Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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