just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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