this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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