He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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