It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
