Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
