The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
