a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize