Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
